And by that I mean get a career. Since I graduated, I have had a series of jobs. I have never had a career. Since college, I have had jobs as a front desk employee, an autism job coach, a chocolatier, a grilled cheese chef, and a part-time managing editor for a start-up video game magazine.
This year, I will be turning 27. I am currently working as a part-time administrative and distribution manager. These titles seem more impressive than they actually are. In reality, most of these jobs were small businesses. In many ways, it makes the most sense for me to work in this environment. I have never been a fan of large institutions and infrastructures. My social paranoia constantly gets the better of me. I can be incredibly personable. I want my life to be clean and simple so I can spend my time outside my job to work on my art or relax.
However, there is a cost to committing to this type of life. Money is always squeezed tight. Doing large-scale operations with small resources always puts a certain amount of pressure. It affects efficiency. There are some days when I stay extra hours that I didn’t plan on. Other days, I am three hours into a shift and doing nothing but go on my phone or work on things like this.
I can’t foresee myself working in a place like this and ever making more than $60,000, even if I got full-time. I’m not trying to say that money is the source of happiness but I have been broke my entire life. I have always lived simply and no matter what I will continue to do so. Yet, there are times when I wish I had the extra funds for art projects. I have looked at old games on Steam and passed on it because I didn’t know if I wanted to spend $5. Even going to the movies, one of my favorite rituals in life, is something I have passed on many times because I have to consider my wallet.
Then, there is the lack of health care. I aged out last year and have been waiting for my Medicaid to go through. I turned it in sometime in January and was told that I would hear back in two weeks. It’s been pending for two months.
Then, there is Sophie. Unlike myself, She had spent the 3 years after undergrad completing her master’s degree. Now she has a well-paying job, insurance, and a 401k. Without her, I would not be living my best life right now. Throughout the year and a half that I was unemployed, she has helped me financially and supported me through rough times. Her greatest gift was to remind me that I was not a burden and that this will pass.
This is why I have to make a career change. I cannot keep living like this. I just hope my current plan does not result in losing my ability to keep making art.
Danger Wonka 